To my one and only, to the boy I've adored, and to the boy I made this whole thing for.

Goodness, I made this website, I made everything, made this secret page, and yet, I still am the worst in putting my words into my expression, no matter how great of a writer or poet or anything.. Maybe it's because it's you? because in the end, it's all for you, and you know how much I adore you, maybe even greater than what you can comprehend, so atleast even if my letter's all I have left to really show you my love, then it damn right will be my greatest letter.

Maybe I can start with how special you make me feel? well, you make me feel special in a different way from everyone else heh, you know, the more attention and stuff? no, you showed something greater than all of my achievements or successes, the genuine care for anything I've done or am, you insist on my perfection, even when I feel like a weird ugly creature, you still have went on and on about how somehow everything I've hated about myself was something special you saw, how? I don't know, has it let me see myself in a kinder light? yeah truly.

Or how about how much I enjoy being you around like seriously? how no matter how shitty my day was, or even a great day, I want you to be there, I always want to tell you anything happening with me, like, you HAVE to know every single thought in my brain lol, sorry if it's kind of an annoying trait, but i'm actually really not the talkative type anymore, I've dimmed down a huge lot after feburary, But you're still the only one I want to express myself around, and talk till my heart's content, you make it feel okay to just exist without having to be great or anything, you're insanely patient with me in everything I do, you seem to like everything I do somehow? it gets me shy sometimes to know that someone as loving and sweet as you really likes me for whatever I am, flaws and all (╯▽╰ )

Or maybe about how I've really seen you in everything I have? my little pens? us, my notes? filled with little you doodles. my eyes? reminds me of a convo we had, everything, and i really mean it, it's all you, it's always you anyways, happily I'll use all the memory in my head to recall every single detail you've told me, I'll happily write in countless pages about you, I'll happily talk about you to anyone, I'll happily do anything if it really just involves you, see how simple I can get?

I know, I repeat it and you tease me about being a parrot, but I am. I am insanely happy and proud of you. I am so proud of you that you're still here, and even if you're like "but I wasn't strong enough" or anything, you're still holding yourself back, that's huge. that's really huge, even if it feels bad and shitty, but atleast you're here to say that, and in the end, I'll give you the hope of one thing, and that's time, everything passes by eventually, even if you choke and sob yourself to bits, trust me I know, but I won't say it's going to get better now, but it's going to pass, and I know you're the strongest guy I've met, and I know you'll be able to pass by, I believe in you, and you promised me so i know you won't break your promise to me c;

And I also know that you're not the happiest when it comes to your birthday, and I'll be honest, me too, but if i want to make a birthday feel nice, I'd want to try all i can to yours, because you deserve so much my love, you deserve all the kindness you gave to me, all the comfort you gave me, all the love you've given me, and god i don't know what i did, and how that you're my beloved, and i still think if i deserve you, but i've decided that, if i'm going to be your julie, then i'm going to make your moments with me the best i can give, becuase, it's you, sasha, it's the guy i fell in love, the guy who's seen so much of me and decided to still love me whole, the guy who when i'd be crying to, somehow find the comfort to give me, and apologize when he thought he wasn't helping, well, i'd like to say he helped, and he helped me alot, you did so much for me sasha, you listen. and you care in a way that it makes me tear up when i think about it because it's just so sweet i won't handle it. And well, I will never be able to repay my thank you for how amazing and divine you are to me, but I've been trying for the past time to do so, and I promise you, that I will continue to do so till my life ends, I love you so much sasha, you make me feel safe and comforted, and in a place where i don't have those, you're kind of my comfort place, and not just a person. If home is where the heart is, then you're my home sasha, and i don't want to leave, ever.

two years are going to pass by soon? it feels like so soon, and I'd remember times where I thought "ooooo it's going to take forEVERRR!!" but uh, not to scare anyone but a year and a half passed faster than anything holy lord, but even if time's going fast, or slow, or just time being time, I still have you around, and I'm the luckiest person ever for it, genuinely not just the luckiest but the most grateful for it too!!

Did I talk too much? sorry it's just I'm so excited when you read this and i hope hope HOPE it makes you happy as much as you make me happy all the time, and see I have rizz right rizz is building a full website right right I've poured my blood into this lol, anyways I love you sosososoossososososossomuch and holy shit you're my boyfriend like MY BOYFRIEND MY AWESOME BIRTHDAY BOYYY HAPPY BIRTHDAY ILOVEYOUSOMUCHHHHHHHHHHH

— your beloved girl, and the one who will happily be with you until eternity, Asmaa